Get Off My Lawn

by L

Two years ago, I started my breast cancer journey when I was diagnosed with stage 2B cancer. It wasn’t metastatic or anything but 12 surgeries, chemo and losing my hair and strength later, I can honestly say, I’ve come out on the other end healthy … No thanks to Susan G. Komen Foundation.

You hear everywhere that Susan G. Komen supports breast cancer research and they’re fighting for the cure. Hogwash. They’re supposed to be fighting to help women with cancer to get diagnosed and treated, as well as researching metastatic cancer, where a cure would have the most impact. Instead, they’re spending their money on PACs and organizations that have little to do with things that matter to breast cancer survivors, like partnering with handgun sellers.

I was fortunate enough to have health insurance that paid for about 80% of my treatment. I’m still working on paying off the other 20%. Nevertheless, I’m luckier than a lot of women in the same position, namely the ones who rely on most of their medical care through Planned Parenthood. Regardless of the political issues surrounding Planned Parenthood, they do provide much needed medical care for impoverished women; sometimes, the only doctors low-income women see are those at Planned Parenthood. So having those no or low-cost mammograms there were critical.

Komen has done nothing for me in my journey, despite several requests for counseling help to deal with the aftermath. They’re right on the spot, though, when they need volunteers, money or a cancer survivor to trot out when they’re in front of the press.

Sorry, Susan G. You lost my faith a long time ago. The latest shenanigans just confirm that decision.

by Soben

Now, I’m a guy, and I certainly haven’t had any experience with breast cancer anywhere in my family, so this isn’t immediately related to me, but it doesn’t mean this type of shit doesn’t annoy me.

I love breasts, and I want to see them still exist.

Recently, due to the constant nagging and pressure from anti-abortion groups (who tend to be the same ones that don’t want regulation on THEIR lives, but are fanatical about restricting OTHER people), The Komen Foundation recently pulled their funding of Planned Parenthood.

SGK’s money was put to work at Planned Parenthood for thousands of breast cancer screenings and mammogram checks, which are vital parts of what Susan G Komen’s Foundation is about. So thanks to anti-abortion groups, thousands of women are likely at higher risk of breast cancer now, without access to much needed screenings.

What particularly set me off (and got me to come here to let off steam), is that the VP of the Komen Foundation recently retweeted (and quickly retracted the RT), a message that is highly hypocritical and ignorant:

It argues that pro-abortion (which, of course, sounds worse than what it really is: pro-choice) are complaining about a cancer group as if they have no say in the matter (they’re completely unrelated subjects), but it ignores the damn fact that ANTI-ABORTION groups turned to a CANCER organization to force a decision that is completely unrelated to the organization’s goals IN THE FIRST PLACE. They did the EXACT same thing that the pro-choice groups are now pointing out and making a stand against.

SGK screwed up here. They should’ve kept supporting what they were created for (prevent breast cancer with awareness, regular screenings, and search for a cure), and not let groups that are completely unrelated to that goal intimidate them.

Stick with what you were created for, and don’t focus on anything else!

/endrant

by I hate everything

Any person above the age of say, six, who spouts the term millennial needs to see a doctor. Hopefully they can get the oxygen flow restored to their brain and continue functioning if they end up getting help. But frankly, most are the social media ninjas that have double-jointed their arms to pat themselves on the back so much you’d think they’re giving themselves reach-arounds the wrong way full time these days.

‘Millennial’ is the adjective form of ‘millennium’, which as most people who’ve managed to pass elementary school should now know stands for one thousand years (that’s a one followed by three zeros, or, 1000 years). If you’re referring to a millennial person, then, you’re referring to someone who’s managed to live from before 1012 at this point. They’ve lived through the rise and fall of the Eastern Roman Empire and are still alive and kicking. Frankly I’m not sure why they’re even using the internet and working, they should have invested a little more wisely in their 200′s perhaps in order to avoid such things.

If you’re the mouth-breathing sort that enjoys saying shit like “This will appeal to the millennial crowd”, get off my lawn, before my decadial ass goes medieval on yours.

by Don't Get Me Started

Just get the hell off our collective lawn, Rick Perry. Asshole.

I mean, I could write out this whole post…sending links to all the articles about misdeeds, misappropriations, mishandling and misogyny during his endless terms as Texas governor, but the net result is that I just want him to go away.

I could talk about how he claims others are treasonous, while out of the other side of the mouth he talks about Texas seceding.

I could talk about how he preaches Tea Party values while being a lifelong politician and creator of big government.

I could talk about the complete lack of support he appears to have generated for people in our state who are burning up and losing their livelihoods. He’s too busy promoting himself.

I could talk about the rumors that he is gay. With apologies to my gay friends, I sincerely hope he is and that he is outed in a BIG way.

I’m pretty sure he’s behind A&M’s move to the SEC. Good luck not getting your asses handed to you over there, Aggies.

I could talk about how he’s an entitled, self-serving, short-sighted douchebag and yet somehow he’s gaining momentum in the national polls? W.T.F.?

But no one listens. No one cares. Good hair and pointy boots seem to be all one needs to win the presidency.

Ugh. I have Perry fatigue. Gag.

by myerman

I recently had to go through the kind of hateful, agonizing, vile conversation with someone, the kind I don’t enjoy having, but have learned to expect in these crazy times. You know what I’m talking about–you start talking with someone and then they start spouting all kinds of stupid crap that just makes you think, “Huh, you think you know someone and then…”

In this particular case (and I really don’t want to recap the whole thing, because it makes my brain hurt) the person was spouting all kinds of hysterical bullshit about Muslims. Basically: don’t trust them, they are evil, they want to kill us all, we need to repudiate them, ostracize them, maybe even scapegoat them. That other people in her social circle seemed to be okay with this just made me crazy.

So I did what no one else seemed willing or able to do: I confronted this person, and called her out as a vile, ignorant bigot. Along the way I corrected her on basic facts (the holy book of Islam is not the Torah,but in fact is the Koran, stuff like that). Then I basically walked away.

Folks, I’ve reached my limit. I sincerely believe that the Internet is a big friend to people with fringe beliefs, and they sure get good at spouting their flat earth, missing birth certificate, CIA planned 9/11, all muslims are terrorists, and Satan is trying to trick us with dinosaur fossil ideas. Before the Internet came along, people with kooky fringe ideas had to say their stupid shit in private, or pay good money to create and distribute newsletters, but now, NOW they have Tumblr and Twitter, and holy fucking Christ….

So here’s the issue. We, the rational, sane people, are part of the problem. We aren’t confronting these assholes. We’re too polite, apparently, to tell them to shut the fuck up already. We’re too civil, it seems, and now we have this giant festering pustule of Stupid in our public discourse and society.

Of course, I may be totally wrong about our need to confront Stupid. In fact, I’d be willing to bet that I am absolutely 100% wrong about it. And it has nothing to do with their being right, it’s that we are outnumbered at this point. Nothing we do will have a real effect, it’s like spitting at an oncoming tsunami.

Let’s test that thesis. Even the President of these United States has to take time out of his busy day to address his fucking birth certificate, an issue that for 80% of Americans was settled 2.5 years ago. But no, the vocal 20%, they’re like fucking morons beating on their drums, and we have to go over and appease the little bastards.

The result? “Why did it take him 2 years to show it?” (He already showed it, this is the second time, fuckwit.) “Wait a minute, they should have said his father was a Negro, not African. In 1961 they would have said Negro. Negro Negro Negro.” (Frankly, I think people of the birther mindset just love saying the word Negro out in public.) “Oh well, whatever, his mother was 18 at the time he was born, and the law states that she had to be at least 19 to confer citizenship.” (Damn, I’m losing brain cells just listening to you talk.)

I saw a comment yesterday on a mainstream article (I think it was the New York Times, for pity’s sake) that even if the birth certificate were real, there was no evidence that the man who says he is Barack Hussein Obama is actually the person referenced in the document. How did they know? They heard a story once that Obama is using a Social Security Number from someone who died in Connecticut in 1890.

The fact that Social Security Numbers weren’t issued until the late 1930s probably wouldn’t faze this person one bit, but I still felt compelled to respond. For my efforts I got jumped on by 3 other jackasses, a jackass gangbang if you will, and so I walked away. My walking away hurts the public discourse, but so does my decision to not have children. The latter means the world will just fill up with more cretins, I guess, while the former means that we will just see a continuing decline in rational discourse.

So maybe I’m wrong. Maybe some varieties of Stupid can’t be fought. The birthers certainly don’t respond to facts, and I guess neither do the young earthers. If God said he made the earth in seven days, well okay, then. Maybe that’s why we’re all so fucked up–He should have taken more time.

by MyPeeve

When is enough enough? All we’ve heard from the “one-hit wonders” (AKA politicians) for years is how everyone needs even lower taxes. Don’t raise taxes on the poor/middle class/rich folks and corporations who fund our campaigns. Boo-hoo.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a million times until SOMEONE hears me. Taxes pay for the things a nation needs to function as a civil society. Roads. Public schools. Subsidized rural services like electricity and access to clean drinking water. They pay for the regulations so that your food is safe to eat and your homes don’t fall down because of shoddy construction practices. Police and fire departments so you have someone to call when something terrible happens. These are just a few of the thousands of things that being a tax-paying citizen affords you.

Now we have a Congress that is so in denial about how a democratic society runs that rather than raise taxes to combat a $14 Trillion national debt, they are going to nickle and dime public services to death. How stupid do you have to be to not understand how to use a calculator?

Here’s some simple math. $14 Trillion debt – $100 Billion (or so) in cuts to everything from fuel subsidies for the poor, national public radio, and planned parenthood will make a puny dent in the national debt (yeah, my calculator won’t even go up that high to give you an actual number). What it will do is devastate programs and services that people who otherwise couldn’t afford it need very much.

What about Social Security? Now, if you actually know how much you really pay in Federal withholding tax, you’ve probably also noticed that what comes out of every paycheck for social security is at least twice as much as you pay in withholding. However, the Social Security Administration is one of the most efficient bureaucracies in our government. Yet now, Congress wants to cut funding to that as well.

What’s the most important tangible value of the Social Security system? That’s right. Your parents won’t have to move in with you when they get old. Think about that. If that fact alone isn’t enough to make you beg Congress to raise taxes in order to protect Social Security from cuts then I don’t know what is.

The last thing I want is to have Congress start slashing Social Security benefits to old folks. They are happy in their retirement communities getting their monthly Social Security check and visiting the grandkids on occasion. Lets keep them there! You don’t want them living with you, do you? Of course not. So congress, raise everyones taxes NOW to start digging us out of debt. And for crying out loud, GET OFF MY LAWN!

by myerman

Okay, I’ve had just about enough of nitwits in public discourse. From this point forward, if you say anything that resembles the following statements, then I’m going to just remove you from the “intelligent adult capable of maintaining a reasonable conversation” list and stop listening to you.

“Rich people shouldn’t be taxed more than anyone else.” Listen up, buddy, rich people are fucking laughing at you. You’re never going to be rich, but here you are carrying water for them. They fucking own you, and your mama, and your dog, and guess what they’re gonna do with their tax break? Fuck you some more. Oh, and then fuck your kids too.

“That last Matrix movie made sense.” Yeah, no. Now shut the hell up before I slap some sense into you.

“A flat tax is the only fair tax.” So I guess you failed math in school. Listen, I know you’re tired of people rolling their eyes at you, but when you say dumb shit, what do you expect? Here you go: if you take 10% away from a guy making a million dollars a year, he won’t miss the $100,000 because he still has $900,000. He can still cover the basics, buy a boat, remodel the kitchen, take a trip to Europe, do a lot of shopping, oh, and hire some lobbyists to go shake down Congress for more “tax cuts for the rich.”

But if you take away $2,000 away from a guy making $20,000 a year, that’s gonna suck big time. They’re not making ends meet as it is, they have a bunch of mouths to feed, they have a job they go to every day which means gas and clothes expenses, etc etc etc and now you’re taking away a huge chunk of their income. Way to go. Hopefully you feel good about that.

“The Star Wars prequels were better than the originals.” Those prequels are good for one thing and one thing only: landfill liners. They’re utter crap. I was expecting some exciting Jedi kick-assery and it turns out they’re more like Quakers who really really love Robert’s Rules of Order.

“What’s the big deal with oil spills? Mother nature takes care of itself.” Where to begin? I heard this blatant piece of oil company agitprop tumble out of the mouth of a Gulf Coast grandmother last weekend, and I just about shit my pants. Listen folks, oil lives miles under the surface of the ground. It does not normally mix with water. Hence that old saying about “oil and water.” Oh, God, I can’t believe I’m explaining this.

“Tax cuts lead to more job growth.” Well, Sparky, we’re approaching year 10 of the Bush Tax Cuts and so far, this is practically the worst decade of job growth since the sack of Rome. And at least that produced some income for people making sacks for the fucking Visigoths. So, when you have any evidence that actually backs this statement up (and evidence doesn’t mean repeating stupid shit from Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh) you might get my attention.

“Obama is a __________.” If the last part is anything other than “democratically elected President of these United States” please go fuck yourself. He is not a Muslim, not born in Kenya, not some kind of representative of the Lizard Overlords, or a Manchurian candidate, or whatever. Preh-zeeeee-dent.

“I have a personal relationship with God/Jesus/Vishnu/Cthulhu.” Okay, just to be clear, God doesn’t exist. Period. Full stop. That is my only bargaining position. BUT IF THE IMPOSSIBLE OCCURS AND I’M WRONG ON THIS, whoever God is doesn’t give a fuck about you. He’s got the whole universe to run, okay? The Milky Way galaxy doesn’t even register on his give-a-shit-o-meter, much less you and whatever it is you’re going through at the moment. So knock it off. (And, oh yeah, he can’t see your kids masturbate so stop screwing up their lives, okay?)

“We’re about to have Sharia law in the United States!” Yes, of course it’s going to happen, because all our federal judges and everyone else in the legal profession are willing to overturn en masse our entire legal system. You know, that thing that is basically the source code for our society? Yeah, let’s chuck it.

Listen, if you’re really worried about a bunch of foreign legal ideas from a long-ago culture screwing up our society, look no further than the 10 Commandmants.

“Hitler had some good ideas too, you know.” Heard this chestnut about a month ago. Unbelievable. Listen, if Hitler told me he wanted to start a service that personally delivered gold bars to my bedroom every morning, with each gold bar personally escorted by insatiable nymphomaniacs directly ordered to safeguard my libido for the Reich, my response would still be the same: STAB HITLER IN THE BALL. (See, he only had one, right, so….never mind.)

by Grumpy GenXer

Gen X-er here and I got something to say to the two generations that surround us.

Dear Boomers: You have sucked our coffers dry with your childhood fantasies of re-enacting what your parents accomplished as the “greatest generation”. Just stop. You suck. We know it, you know it, so stop. You will never be the “Lone Ranger” with your trusty sidekick Tonto. Just knock it off already.

And Gen Y. Oh where to start. You are the biggest bunch of entitlement-minded pussies ever. You wouldn’t know a hard day’s work if it stepped on you. Guess what, you morons…you gotta prove yourself just like everyone else. I REALLY don’t give a shit if your Mom thinks you are pretty or smart. Until you prove it, you’re nothing but an insipid whiner that couldn’t find your way out of a box.

So guess what folks? Gen X is a very small generation sandwiched between two very large ones. Now, what happens when a small group has concentrated power over a larger group?

Yeah… you are all fucked.

I would highly recommend you be nice to us. Oh, and for the twenty-somethings that are reading this: I don’t expect you to understand. Isn’t there an episode of “Jersey Shore” you should be watching?

~~Grumpy Gen X-er

by myerman

I’m not sure how this all happened, but I suddenly find myself living in a country where the latest political standard bearer, Sarah Palin, is aggressively proud of her ignorance, her lack of savvy, and her intellectual dishonesty.

Back in the day, when W was president, some of his handlers and ardent followers at least tried to make excuses for his simpleton ways, saying that he was supposed to be some kind of “man of the people.” That he had the “common touch.” It was okay, ya know, if he wasn’t book smart because he was the kind of guy you could have beer and tacos with. (Never mind that you better be ready to drop $10,000 a plate for the privilege.)

Fast forward a few years, and witness La Palin. The Quitter. She who speaks in random phrases that are thrown and tossed into a giant Word Salad Spinner and then used to bludgeon the nation’s collective IQ on all wavelengths. Every time I hear her voice I feel like driving an ice pick into my brain just to make myself feel better.

And I keep thinking to myself, why did that bastard John McCain have to annoint her the chosen one, allow her the privilege of taking up space on my TV and my trends. Didn’t she lose her bid to become Vice President? Why does she keep talking? Why are people giving her time and attention?

I just wanna know why that bitch is on my lawn?