There are many mysteries in the universe, like where did we come from, why are we here, what do women really want, and why do the Cialis commercials put people in separate bath tubs and equate that with sexy time. I don’t know if any of those mysteries will ever be figured out, so I’d like to turn my attention to another mystery:
Why do people on Facebook think it’s okay to add other people willy-nilly to their groups? I know that we’re all helpless to your craven desires to create your reindeer games arenas, and that there’s no way for me to block your attempts, but for crissake. Why would you think that I’d like to be part of your Breakfast Taco Lovers group, or your Ayn Rand Reading Circle group, or your Funny Pictures of Baby Hippos group?
I’m flattered that you think I’d like to commune with you in your love of fat little hippopotami eating their greens and frolicking in the mud, but no thanks. I have half a mind to start some asinine groups of my own and to invite each and every one of you group-happy little fucks to them.
And I’m not talking about merely weird groups, I’m talking depraved. As in a People Who Love to Smear Peanut Butter on their Privates and Then Run Naked Through Shopping Malls group. Or a group for Reformed Phone Sex Operators Who Like to Discuss the Koran.
And I’m not just gonna add you to these groups, but your siblings and parents too. Maybe we can escalate this to the point where Facebook will finally allow its users to opt out of the stupid. I know, that sounds ridiculous, but a guy can dream.